3:44 a.m.
Still drinking.
Feeling an obligation to finish off this bottle of Prosecco.
Reflecting on a shitty year.
A shitty past five years, actually, but 2020 by all accounts has taken the cake.
I know that a lot of people have their own lists of truly crappy, tragic, awful things that have taken place in 2020, and since misery loves company, here’s what’s happened in ours:

Amex suing us.
Husband unemployed for most of year.
Husband battling a depression so deep and persistent that he attempts suicide.
Son begins self-harming.
My father dies after a lengthy battle with Mesothelioma.
Pets developing weird lumps and bumps and in need of veterinary care, but we can’t afford it.
Daughter off in college out of state. (Which is both great and also stressful.)
All of this during a worldwide pandemic and political turmoil.
There’s tons of other factors – mishaps, things falling apart, mental health issues, family dysfunction issues, financial straits, COVID stress – that have been playing out as well, which I’m not sure where to even start with.

Haven’t written anything in what seems like forever.
And yet, here I am.
I guess I’m here testifying that all of this won’t actually make your head explode, surprisingly enough.
I’ve been waiting.
I’m tentatively on alert though.
Some days I kinda wish it would.

I’m nothing if not honest.